By: Angela Verges
Has there ever been a time where you felt at wits' end when it comes to trying to communicate with yourteen or tween? They sigh every time you ask them to do something, they complain, and they want to do the opposite of what you say.
My solution was to create a set of rules for my adolescent boys.
I did not have to travel to Mt. Sinai as did Moses in the Bible. I took out my tablet, spiral-bound as it was, and created a list of rules suitable for my household. They are written in verbiage that should be simple enough for youth to understand.
The following Teen Commandments can be adapted to suit your particular needs.
- Thou shalt not slam any doors — car, bedroom, cabinets, etc.
- Thou shalt not use the word "why" unnecessarily: Why do I have to do it? Why can't my brother do it? Why do I have to clean my room? Why do you want the house clean so badly?
- Thou shalt not use thy mother's name in vain: Ma, Ma, Momma! I can't find my school ID! Ma, Ma, Ma?
- Thou shalt not return empty containers (cereal boxes, cookie packages, etc.) to the cabinets or fridge.
I stopped at four commandments to save room for any unforeseen circumstances that may arise, requiring the need for a new commandment. As I searched for other sympathizers of the teen struggle, aka other parents of teens, I came across an interesting article "Ten Commandments of parenting teenagers."
Some of those commandments include:
- Praise in public, criticize in private.
- When they really screw up is when they need you most.
- Yes, you do have to tell them things a thousand times. Stop counting and get over it.
- Remind yourself they won't be teenagers forever. One day you will look back on these years and laugh. Maybe.
I asked Google, what advice would you give would you give parents of teenagers? I found answers in the " "Health Leader" an online wellness magazine from the University of Texas Health Science Center.
The first words of wisdom were: listen, listen, listen and be patient. When I saw that patience was required, I thought I was doomed from the start, but I read on.
One parent said that even if you are busy or tired, let your teen talk through her thoughts and feelings. Sometimes she may just want you to listen.
Dr. N. Patel says to treat teens as you would have wanted your parents to treat you: "To develop a wonderful caring parent/child relationship, the best gift that parents can give is the gift of their time."
Now this is a piece of advice I might be able to handle.