Positive Parenting: Step-Parent or Second-Class Parent?
Step-parenting, although rewarding, can be tough. Here are a few tips on how to deal with some of the obstacles you might face on your journey as a step-parent.
Step-parents face challenges that many other parents do not face. Foremost among these problems? Earning respect. This week's Positive Parenting discusses the tribulations of step-parenting and what you can do to make it better.
Blended families are pretty much the norm nowadays. From the Bradys to (dare I say it) the Kardashians, blended families are everywhere. Whether you're ready or not, you will undoubtedly have an interesting road ahead of you as a step-parent.
As with any other parenting challenge, the key is to stay positive—easier said than done in certain situations, I know.
You must keep the lines of communication open with your spouse, especially when it comes to parenting. Find out their parenting style and creatively come up with ways to balance that style. Develop tough skin, because there may be times when you just might hear, "You're not my real mother/father!"
Be prepared to respond to this sternly yet compassionately, letting your stepson or daughter know that you're their real parent regardless of your last name or blood type, and you're there in their lives because you care for and love them.
Consider taking multiple approaches to parenting. Remember that you are your child's (biological or step-child) parent first, so avoid trying to overcompensate your role in their lives by being a friend.
Consider sitting down with your step-child and hear them out. Do they like you and this new situation? Are they playing the blame game, and what are their expectations, if any?
This is not to say that you are going to be a doormat to them, but it will help you understand where they are coming from. Additionally, hearing them out will give you an upper hand on how to tailor your parenting strategies. Remember that mutual respect is essential, so if you are not giving respect to your step-children, you can't really expect to get it.
Parenting is a wonderful journey, and each day you will learn something new. If you are a step-parent, consider making friendships with other parents who have gone through what you are going through, and realize that you are not a second-class parent—you are a parent who plays a crucial role in the lives of your children.