By: Michelle Towers
Whenever I begin coaching with a new client, there is one particular quality that I look for in that person veryearly in the coaching relationship. This single quality is a sure-fire indicator of whether or not they will be highly successful in reaching their goals.
This quality has little to do with how clear they are about what they want. It is not dependent on the amount of resources they have. It is completely unrelated to how many books they have read or seminars they have attended. It normally comes down to one simple thing: Their willingness and readiness to move beyond the excuses.
Have you ever heard any of these excuses?
"I want to have a healthy relationship, but she refuses to change".
"I really want that promotion, but it won't happen because my boss is out to get me".
"I would have forgiven her, but then she said something else to make me mad again".
Excuses have the potential to be the deadliest enemy of your goals and dreams. They have the power to paralyze you and lull you into a comatose state, keeping you from ever moving forward.
Excuses always have one common denominator - they have a tendency to divert the responsibility from you and onto something/someone else. They become the obstacle that keeps you from accomplishing what you want for your life.
Life does have the tendency to throw us curve balls at times. It is true that obstacles sometimes arise that have the ability to deter or derail your plans. But in too many cases, we tend to use excuses when our obstacles appear too difficult to tackle, and we don't see a way out. Excuses become a means of justifying to ourselves that it is okay to give up; it is okay to not take any action; it is okay to not take any risks that might result in discomfort, failure or disappointment.
If you are ready to move past your excuses and move on to realizing your dreams, then here are some factors to consider:
- Take a close, internal look within. Regardless of how much a person or situation might be hindering you, there is always room for self-improvement. Be very honest with yourself and ask, "What am I doing that's contributing to my lack of success? What can I change about me? What can I change about the situation?" Be willing to take personal responsibility - and take control of your own destiny!
- Be honest about your real desire for change. Sometimes we make excuses because we are afraid to take action. Other times we use them to delay making a decision. But your decision to pass the responsibility buck could also indicate that perhaps you don't really want that dream after all. Give yourself a "heart-check" and be sure that your decision to pursue your goal/dream is a true desire.
- Decide how serious you are about getting what you want. Often times, it is much easier to complain about a problem instead of putting your hands to the plow and working on finding a solution. Ask yourself, "Am I really willing to pay the price to make my dream a reality, or do I just enjoy talking about it?" Reaching your goal/dream will require some sacrifice. It is important to weigh the cost and then decide if you are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.
One of my most recently highly successful clients took this whole concept to heart. He wholeheartedly adopted a quote from a John Maxwell book that I suggested he read, and this phrase became his mantra: "Get up. Get over it. Get Going!"
I challenge you to move beyond your excuses today. "Get up. Get over it. Get Going!" And bring your dreams and goals to life!
Coaching Tip: Take some time to think about the write down responses to these questions:
- Is there an area in your life where you are "passing the buck" or making excuses?
- Do you REALLY want things to change? How Badly? What sacrifice are you willing to make?
- What action can you take TODAY to start the path of positive change?
For one-on-one coaching, contact Michele Towers at Michele@coaching4newdirections.com
Or visit my New Directions Coaching website.